3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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