sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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