cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
