I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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