You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
