you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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