Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize