i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
