One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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