Can i not drive my cunt home
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just found puke in my bra..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
