I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
