Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
is that a dick in a sweater?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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