WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
