yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
