Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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