You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
