i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
