Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
