I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sext me about skeletons
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
