just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
