i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
