it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
vagina is talking i cant
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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