somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
