I am puke
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
