my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my poor anus
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
