Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
