im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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