guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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