Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
