I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fuck me I smell like cheese
why does every cop we meet know your name?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
