Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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