I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
