id be glad to
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
