I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
