Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize