I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
