I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
