Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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