sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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