its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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