I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
