That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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