Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
