She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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