I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
