This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
