I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
