their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
