nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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