If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
