He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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