I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
