Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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