good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
