I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need to calm my uterus...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
